This is an anonymous poll; no one's name or identity will be known to me. Anon commenting is also available if you wish to expand upon your answers.
If you're not familiar with the topic this poll explores, it's the pink tax. Poll creator identifies as a tomboyish-feeling but feminine-presenting cis female (nope, I'm not mixed up or anything, not at all) and welcomes answers from people of all gender identities.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7
Do you use the opposite gender's styling products?
Yes, all the time
Yes, but only sometimes
Hmmmm...I've considered it, but not yet
What is a styling product (*ticking this will count as a No)
If "Yes, all the time" to Question #1, which opposite gender styling products do you use?
Shave cream (any kind)
Razors/razor blades/razor refills
Body lotion/hand lotion (moisturizers)
Facial care (astringents, face wash, toners, acne pads, etc.)
Hair care (dyes, hair spray, mousse, waxes, pomades, gels, etc.)
If "Yes, but only sometimes" to Question #1, why haven't you used the opposite gender's styling products more often?
Tried, didn't like the formulation/effect/outcome/smell
Didn't work as well as my gender identity's formulation
Cost too much as compared to my gender identity's products
I feel funny or don't want to be seen using stuff marketed to the opposite gender
I haven't thought about it too much
How do you feel about women's styling products costing more than men's?
I think it's bs (I identify as a woman)
I think it's bs (I identify as a man)
I think it's bs (I identify as another or no gender)
I think it's justfiied - women's products are formulated differently/use more expensive ingredients/make me feel more pampered (you may clarify in comments below)
I haven't noticed a price difference
I don't care about the price difference
If you identify as a woman, does the fact that men's styling products cost less convince you to begin buying them?
I'm aware of the price difference but don't plan on trying men's products to save money.
I'm aware of the price difference, I just feel unsure about switching to using items made for men.
I have already switched to using at least some men's products to save money (comment!).
I am not other gender's products curious.
Why do you think women's styling products cost more than men's? Is this fair? Why or why not?
...get email from them because apparently their account got hacked by some asshole in China (or hacked by an asshole using some website in China to redirect their email) after you haven't heard from that person in years. I could almost feel, like, stalked, I guess, or be stupid enough to hit "reply" because I have simply *never* learned how to view source in emails...and yes, if I am being stalked, then this very post is confirmation, is it not, that that was who I was writing about, right? No. It's confirmation that I don't like assholes. That's what it confirms.
I was typing URLs into my browser's address bar about an hour ago (I'm into domain flipping, though I've never done it; I just do this URL-typing thing once in a while, usually after checking Google Trends for any good domain names I might have missed in the news) when on a lark I typed in billary.com. Guess where it lands?
In a wild coincidence, when a new book went on sale yesterday at Amazon billary.com began redirecting to it. The book in question is Crisis of Character: A White House Secret Service Officer Discloses His Firsthand Experience with Hillary, Bill, and How They Operate. This is a very long title. Long titles are in these days, but I don't know if they'll work for selling books. I would not like to find out.
Bill Clinton's a presidential wonder to me (if it had been put to a vote, I would have voted to abolish eight year term limits just to keep him in office forever) so this title, merely on sight, has no impact on how I feel about him, and little on how I feel about Hillary (I don't like her and never did, though I have tried to, I guess, over the years; but I do think she's the best we're getting this year, unless Sanders pulls a rabbit out of his hat real soon). But I imagine this title will make conservatives and Republicans slobber on themselves. Hey, whatever I can do to help the economy along...
I just thought that for being on a domain flipping mission tonight, this was an interesting find. I also found a site called flippo.com, another interesting find if you're into, uh, domain-flipping.
..in years. I was thinking the other day that most of my poems, like most of my posts, kind of suck, then trying to think which was the best of them, being this is a pretty low bar to cross.
Most of my poems are not online...some are just not good enough to withstand sunlight, others are hard to format for HTML because of the formatting I chose (From A-Z is written in the shape of a Z, and while I think I've posted that one before, I shouldn't have; circles is written in a concentric circle working from the outside perimeter into the center) and others are, I guess "too personal" (I don't know; in light of the relationships some of them were based upon, I could always revisit that question).
Given I don't feel like going upstairs to find the book that holds most of my writing, and haven't felt like it since this question first occurred to me a few days ago, I'd have to guess Daniel might be my favorite. I've probably told this story before but you won't find that online, either...Daniel was a German/French neo-Nazi who fell in love with me. If you know me as well as he did, then you know this is hilarious, because I have a lot of Jewish blood. He was involved with someone else at the time and so was I (this was between 2008-2009) so nothing came of it. He was my co-worker, then we both got promoted (he became my supervisor), then he made me watch him break his own heart...toward the end of my time there, he had to go work somewhere else and when I found out I said, "Oh that sucks! We won't work together anymore" and he started crying. And couldn't stop. I never doubted how he felt about me again.
I didn't find it as surprising as I guess I thought I would that a neo-Nazi fell in love with me. Then again, I never in a million years considered such a thing. Then, about a year ago, I came to find out one of my co-workers was Jewish and a Nazi. I walked into his section of the building one night shouting, "What the FUCK is wrong with you?". He was in his early 20s, taller and stronger than me, and also had a bit of a crush on my ass, and none of those facts stopped me for one second.
"What? What???" he said, sheepish, half-smiling, acting not at all surprised that I was yelling at him. "You're a Nazi?" I spat. He started laughing and me and like five other people in the room did, too. When I could finally breathe again, I was like, "Damn it, you should know better". He went into how upset his parents were over it and yada yada yada until finally I said, "OK, whatever", then sort of dismissively hand-waved him and walked away because I didn't know what else to say or do. We still spoke after that, but then it turned out he was sort of crazy (he threatened to blow the whole place up one night after a fight with his boss or something; I forget the details but know he hasn't blown the place up - at least, not yet).
I mean, I want to hate people for shit. For their beliefs. And value systems. Which don't always align with my own. But then I meet people like this and write poems like Daniel - because even their most basic beliefs aren't set in stone; sometimes a seemingly cohesive person can be more mixed up - and unsure of what they should believe - than you can ever imagine them being.
To my UK friends - including my fellow Dreamwidthians and deep inner Dwirclers - I have news you might not like. According to US media, there has been a vote in favor of a Braxit - that is, a total brain exit of vast numbers of people in the UK. While our media has found no source of possible infection that makes this complete exit of a brain from Great Britain possible, the contagion does seem confined for now to the "English countryside" and whatever part of Ireland which does not face North.
I will stop far short of calling the disease vector being somewhat confined by mere location "a relief".
I think everyone who voted in favor of brain exit supports Trump and is a racist xenophobe. Am I making myself clear? The brain exit is driven by the same thing driving whatever remains of Trump's disastrous popularity: refugees. The word "refugees" is the bogey man who represents: 1) blacks, 2) Muslims, 3) women, 4) the poor, 5) people taking our guns away, which is ALL the people who are not like "us" and 6) any other group the racists tend to dislike (and believe me, with racists, there are HUGE overlaps; you're never "just" a bigoted jerk).
That said, the send up y'all are getting across the pond is sort of hilarious. I'm not saying I support the overall mean and sniffy tone, but it has given me a few pauses as I consider how a country stupid enough to even allow Trump to run for President can dare to suggest the population of any other country might also be sort of ignorant and uninformed. So much so, that many of you are even calling for a do-over. Seriously, the last time I heard of doing anything over was when I last begged (yes, this happened more than once, clearly because I'm a jerk) my mom to speak to me again because my mouth? Can work waaaaay faster than my brain, sorry about that, so yes, can we do that moment over, please? I didn't know this was also a legitimate form of politicking.
But I gotta say it: if you read these articles in the order I'll present them in, which is pretty much the same order I found them in on my MSN News app, this does look a bit more like a Braxit then a Brexit, for the following reasons...
The British are frantically Googling what the E.U. is, hours after voting to leave it. From the above link: "At about 1 a.m. Eastern time, about eight hours after the polls closed, Google reported that searches for "what happens if we leave the EU" had more than tripled". Have you folks considered researching this stuff BEFORE you leave? Or is it just that important to flounce off in a (totally uninformed) huff? Please stop making my country look maybe not quite as stupid in comparison. (It is just as stupid, perhaps more so, so the last laugh's definitely on us: half the people over here just don't Google because "the media lies" and they KNOW they're right, so why bother Googling?)
We can screw up some polls over here, OK? Mistakes were made. Polls were screwed up. Of course it's never any specific group's or person's fault because that's how lack of accountability actually works. I'm a member of YouGov, Ipsos-Mori and other national polling institutions so I've got some background on this. But what the UK can do to some polls is fucking breathtaking.
Your Prime Minister.
This guy had the balls to bluff the entire UK but to his surprise and probable eternal mortification, enough border-loving xenophobes called him out on it to lose the bet he made on you. Then he sent himself packing, apparently because he lost his mandate. He didn't lose his mandate. He lost his fucking bet. I'm not sure if I should give him mad props for sheer cojones or chalk him up to an idiot. He felt pressure from a minority political party to prove, mostly to them, that no one else wanted what they did. And he lost. I'll bet he never in his wildest dreams could see that coming, but I can only wonder why.
It is, after all, just that. But now that a tiny majority of you have voted to leave, at least some brilliant or at least quite efficient exit plan will immediately go into place, right? You don't have one, you say? Wait. What? Oh, that's right, you...don't.
OK, what the fucking fuck? Invoking Article 50 - the only thing remotely resembling a plan you folks ever had? Isn't something Cameron wants to do now, though it was his own idea, because it will hurt the UK far more than it will hurt the EU in a ton of myriad ways.
Seriously, this is from my heart...
Hold a second referendum to nail down the first one. You've all reacted - and voted - rather brashly and don't understand what's going on. FIND OUT before you vote again, should you be given the chance to.
You don't want your country to turn into what we've got over here now that Trump has risen. He doesn't need to get elected to have already turned the US into a dark and dreary place. It's a mood - and it's not going away, because most of us against him imagine if his tyranny does take effect in November our country as we know it will be over with. You folks don't want this. And as much as I've teased Cameron, I do think he made an honest, genuine, unsuspecting mistake, which just happened to be, like, a huge freaking mistake. Hold him accountable. Vote again. Don't let him resign if Remain wins this time; hold a recall vote if possible and get him back, too.
OK: why do I feel so strongly about this? I've seen the world going down around issues of race, tribe and xenophobia since the much-vaunted and totally disastrous Arab Spring. If you really want to call it, I've seen it going down since my country "freed" Iraq from its tyrannical rule, which I hate to say was much less awful than what it must endure now thanks to our, um, help.
We had no plan in place for Iraq to carry on successfully, so we should have left them alone. The Arab Springers thought, "Ah, freedom, democracy" but with no plan in place what they wound up with was war, displacement, millions of refugees and whatever is going on in Syria. You folks in the UK? Shout, "Ah, freedom from tyrannical EU rule" but again there's no plan in place, and if you think I'm being "ridiculous enough" to quite frankly suggest factional and regional infighting will result in YOUR country from this Brexit, then please roll your eyes - first toward the southern tip of Ireland, then over to Scotland and then back around to the entire city of London, and get back to me on that.
Y'all scare me.
This is where light gets in
small acts of kindness
- 'Where Light Gets In'
My mother used to work in sales. "And I was very good at it," she always adds, staring me down as if she might transmit some of those magic sales skills directly eye-to-eye. From her sales training, there are apparently three things I must communicate for a successful conversation:
- Why should the other person listen to you? aka What do you have for them?
- What do you want them to do?
- Why now?
As Antanas Mockus puts it, "The idea of modern democracy is inseparable from the possibility that different reasons may back up the same rules." My mother's sales pitch trick has an unspoken first step: don't start with your values. You don't need them to share your exact values to get their support for a common goal. Start with a goal, work together to make it a common goal, and let that be grounds for shared respect and maybe grounds for talking about values.
I think of values as prime examples of Atul Gawande's slow ideas. ( Read more... )
Someone asked me the other day what my goal was. I'm 45 years old and long past the point where I think it's sensible to have one, owing to my lack of education, money and opportunity. I mean, time does march on, and in at least a few obvious ways, I'm not better for it. So asking my 45 year old self is counterproductive because the more jaded, cynical eyes I view life through now don't have a good (or achievable) answer to that question. Ask my pre-teen, teenaged, or younger adult self the same question, though, and the answers look quite different.
I think I've attempted to gather my thoughts on this into one post in the past but not been happy with the results long-term, so any such posts are long gone. As anyone who reads me regularly might know, most of the answers to this question have been scattered throughout my comment sections over the years so loosely there is no easily piecing it all together.
Long-term best answer: if I just turn the radio or any sort of music player on I know what I wanted to do all my life: sing and dance. I think it made my mom a bit wistful during my early years that I knew what I wanted to do since shortly after I was born. It's not something I'd have to work at because I have plenty of raw, natural talent and tons of almost boundless energy for it. It's simply something I'd have to hone and refine and always try to improve upon.
Two problems interfered, with one that persisted until my early 30s, and one the result of childhood injury. Working from latter to former, I injured my right leg when I was 11 dancing on Christmas Eve to Christmas carols shortly before bedtime (I took a flying leap off the floor, twisted in mid-air, and landed in the Christmas tree. This sounds much funnier than it was, because it permanently injured me). This was a nightmare of tears, nerve-wracking, endless pain so severe I couldn't even sleep through the night for weeks on end and a completely ruined Christmas holiday for everyone involved. I had been planning on asking my dad to pay for for me to go to school at the NYC School of Performing Arts but then this happened and that whole dream was over. It never healed right.
The other limitation was I was such a high soprano I wasn't able to hit the lower notes and registers until my early 30s. So with the ability to dance the way I wanted to (which was more ballet than modern or other traditional forms of dance) gone with my leg injury, I knew I'd have to be more of a vocal than dance performer to carry any sort of career but with my voice limitations, and what I was hearing on the radio through the 80s and 90s when I was having such ambitions, I knew my voice would need more flexibility to carry against the Mariah Careys and Whitney Houstons of the world. And yeah, I was that ambitious, so I did feel it would have to.
I was still in high school when I realized my combination of high voice and physical injury (I also had a bad right arm as a result of being assaulted in junior high; it never healed right, either) would limit my musical career and I wasn't too stupid to see that, but by then I was excelling in a Business Law class that no one thought I'd even survive a week or two of (I was at or near the top performing student throughout the course, and actually enjoyed pouring over the study books and case law it involved every night) and I knew I had a law-practicing grandfather on my dad's side (long deceased) so I aspired to it, so before the school year was out, asked my dad to send me to school for that, instead.
But I wasn't going to college if law was going to be my major, minor or anything else. When I asked why I was told my dad did not want me to be like his father, who he hardly ever saw in his worldwide travels as an international lawyer. Which I thought was too damn cute considering I never saw him, either, thanks to his travels all over Long Island and NYC running his businesses. I mean, total, blatant hypocrisy much?
Regardless, I was told to pick another major. But I was so pissed off about the whole thing I went to work in retail instead and have been working similar jobs ever since.
While writing is still something I enjoy ("writing is like breathing to me" was one of my earlier online taglines) I'm not any good at it (one of my few regrets about not picking another major like Dad said, and avoiding law, is minoring in English Lit probably would have helped me become a better writer). I have zero interest in novel writing after trying to write a few in my early 20s - which taught me long before there was a name for it that I'm sort of ADHD. I can't focus on the inner workings of longform-writing long enough to get it fully fleshed out in a way that works - not before I get bored, impatient, or frustrated. Realizing my limitations, I tried outlines, chapter summaries, endless drafts and even relaxation techniques in order to better focus (but I'm wound up, high strung, energetic and slightly nervous, so such techniques have at best a placebo effect) and every other trick to get around my brain's unstoppable mutiny, but soon realized I'd probably never enjoy trying that hard to focus. So I stopped trying.
If I stop right here and look at the above paragraphs I know I'd still choose singing and dancing over all of it. It's the one skillset that comes naturally, and quite joyfully to me. Writing might be my preferred form of breathing but singing and dancing are my preferred form of living. Which tells me, innately, that I was meant to do it; there is no conflict between doing it and how I feel.
But reality steps in, uninvited, every time. So for every Mariah Carey there might be 100 more just as capable singers who won't get the chance to shine because right place/right time didn't line up for them. So when someone asks me what my goal is, this is what I think about before answering: "Well, my goals are not achievable, so what I'm really being asked is what else do I want to do, because I'll never do the things I want". And that's what makes the question almost too painful to answer.
I mean, yes, *ho-hum* God knows I can probably do web design. I might have a future in gardening or landscaping if the right opportunity should present itself: I enjoy plants and flowers and landscaping, working outdoors and have a good eye for placement and color and so forth, so yeah, yeah...this could be an awesome diversion. I enjoy activism and advocacy, so if I could find a paying position which happened to gel with any of the causes I support, I suppose that could work out well, too.
Outside of that, I feel like I ought to ask permission - of myself, of others - to not have other ambitions, if it's alright not to have one, because the goals I do have seem so out of reach.
He's calling it: social networking is over. According to Facebook's Mark Zuckerburg, in five years you will not social; you will video. No one will type or post photos because like GIFs, nothing can remain still. Imagine your status update/wall post/timeline delivered via live stream 24/7. You won't describe a beach day, a lunch, a dinner, a shopping spree, or an argument: you will film it. You will film all of it. You won't post pictures because SOIDH (stream or it didn't happen).
If I happen to see such a "stream" as one big public piss everyone will take on our lives forever, I forgive myself for
thinking we need less publicly viewable online cesspools to drain it off into this transgression.
If you tilt the other way and want everyone to stop posting forever and ever and ever then Drumpf's your man. He's got a huuuuge plan, the best plan, and it uses the best words to end the Internet.
Personally, I think it's all nuts. I like reading - not video watching, which even on the fastest connections that use the biggest modems, the best modems, I still cannot stand watching more than a few minutes of each day - and I like writing. I especially like writing about His Orangeness in the "unfair", aka "unflattering" way that will get me sued if he's elected but before he pushes the Internet OFF button that we all know is hidden in the same seekret location as Obama's birth certificate. I bet he finds them both at once!
I like the Internet because I can Google anything and get myself sort of half-ass self-educated. This matters to people with no money but a lot of brains - that is, being able to independently research and learn whatever we care to know. The rest of y'all can stick to live pissing streams or Drumpfian totalitarian censorship or Captain Marvel furry anime porn or whatever's floating your boats these days, because I don't know or care. I'll do my thing while the vast majority of the Internet discourages me from doing mine, even when I return it no such animosity nor even that much give-a-damn, because honestly I don't.
I think my worst quibbles with the Internet are the same as always: a) it's a timesuck (so yeah, this guy is a genius), b) the sites and apps on it are designed to drag you in, keep you in and lock you down (I cannot mention AOL's Walled Garden as the perfect analogy to what's going on today often enough, because what's going on today? Has always been going on. Zuckerberg is not a genius; he's an AOL copycat. AOL nailed this shit to the wall over 20 years ago, where it's been stuck ever since by an ever-longer line of wannabes: MySpace, Digg, Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, et al) rather than lift you up and empower you to get what you want done. And c) it seems to drag people's thoughts and spirits down in ways that can reshape and often harm society. I think outside of fulfilling some entertainment, self-educational and social pursuits it serves little purpose. You can buy stuff and pay your bills online, though. Yay! Then watch the very websites you use for those things get hacked and your money and identity stolen. Not so yay!
And this - the last 20 some-odd years of the Internet - is because ads. No really, I'm not kidding. There is no other reason these 'free to join' websites, email providers, chat clients and live streaming services exist or even give us the time of day. Ads. Ads. Ads. That's the only reason they or you or I are here.
*looks up above this line*
Yep. This is why I hate posting links. I editorialize so much it just winds up taking forever.
In The Hypocrisy Of It All, an ongoing (you could say live-streaming, since we see it with our own eyes, then force ourselves to forget we saw it) series that women must play our humbly supporting parts in, as we all know programming is women's work because men are too hard-driving to sit back quietly at a desk all day performing ho-hum, boring, repetitive, and womanly tasks.
'Wait! Wait. Stop, MM', you say, 'We men have the corner on that, us brogrammers; we don't let women in because women don't know how to code'. Oh, OK.
Ada Lovelace, Grace Hopper and Adele Goldberg, among many others early to the programming ("wogramming"?) scene, might not just disagree but also might have a veritable host of their own brogrammers to testify to the reality of their talent. I bet they'd crap their pants at what a badge of manly honor it's become to do the very work men practically sentenced them to as some sort of dreary, low-paying, un-world-building punishment once upon a Father Knows Best's kind of time.
Signal-boosting much appreciated!
To style for smaller devices without having any to test on, DW's Preview window can be resized downward almost infinitely, ie, until it's less than a single inch wide - about 2/3 the width of a flip phone/feature phone browser window (tested by holding my flip phone up to the tiny Preview window I just created in Firefox on my laptop). Currently this style starts running over the right gutter at a bit more than 1 1/2 inches wide but plays pretty nice between left and right gutters up until that point.